I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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