I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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