Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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