It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
