these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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