no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
