Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
