I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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