so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
