He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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