He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
