I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
