Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
