Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
