i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
