You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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