So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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