Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You need a sexual gate keeper
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
