No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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