so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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