we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I party with great urgency now.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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