Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I didn't notice because vodka
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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