Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
