oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
try to milk me bitch
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