you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I don't think brook has ever known best
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
