Me. At least after what I've been through.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
