found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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