Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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