I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
