Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
