Porn is love you can see.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
