why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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