I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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