If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
