he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
