we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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