Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
