FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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