She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
