Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
4 words: hood of his car
there was a trapeze. enough said
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
