my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
