i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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