Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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