I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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