i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
