at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
