the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
