The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
