so explain again why im purple
no
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
