Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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